Growing Pains

This morning was an emotional roller coaster for all of us. After three weeks of running the track and preparing for a homeschool group cross country run we left bright and early for the event. We had packed the night before, even got breakfast ready, the kids made signs to cheer Ben (who was running) on, laid the clothes out, directions and camera. We felt so prepared and excited. Despite the freezing temperatures, the darkness and the rain we set off. Arriving in the area early we were all anticipating the run with excitement. We searched, we searched, we asked for clarification of directions at a store, we pulled over two passing vehicles, we called a friend in Guelph...twice, we drove for over 2 hours. We never found it. We pulled over all five of us crying. The disappointment Ben felt of not being able to run the race, of his expectations no where near being met, of the opportunity passing when he didn't want it to. For the rest of us, knowing how much this meant to Ben and soooo wanting to make it happen for him. We felt his pain, his sadness, we felt paralyzed not able to make it better.
After everyone had a cry and a group hug we got back into the car and went to the track we practiced at. We used a scarf to make a finish line, Ben ran the distance while we all cheered (and cried) and then he broke through the finish line. We washed the morning down with hot chocolate with whipcream and cookies.
It was a morning we will all remember for slightly different reasons. And though it was difficult and very emotional, it was also bonding and affirming of our connection as a family. Instead of blowing how everyone felt off, or ignoring the intensity, we embraced it and supported each other. We all felt cared for and loved. We acknowledged how awful it felt. It is at times like this that I am so thankful for our choices as a family, to parent in the way we do, to homeschool, to intentionally spend our time in connecting ways. We are closer, in touch with each other because of it. We see each other grow in amazing ways, but we also feel it as a family.